Crystall Ball...

I don't know what's wrong with me you guys... I've been extremely sad all day, for no apparent reason. I mean, it's 4 a.m. and here I am, up, blogging, listening to P!nk's Crystall Ball...

Drinking wine and thinking bliss, is on the other side of this
I just need a compass and a willing accomplice
All my doubts that fill my head are skidding up and down again
Up and down and round again, down and up and round again.

Oh, I've had my chances and I've taken them all.
Just to end up right back here on the floor.
To end up right back here in on the floor.

...thinking about my life; my past, my present and my future. I've been thinking a lot... I find myself just laying in bed, gazing and staring at my ceiling... asking myself questions I don't have answers to.

Why didn't I get the chance to say goodbye to my grandmother? Does she know how much I miss her? Does my mom know how much I love her, regardless of how "stubborn" and "bad" I might be in her eyes? Where would I be without the few people who have stuck beside me through thick and thin? Where will I be if God forbid, one day they're no longer here? Am I doing the right thing? What path do I take? Why don't I give a fuck? Why aren't there any good men left in this world? Why, in a room filled with close friends, do I feel so lonely?

Sorry for the downer post, I just needed to vent... without really saying much, yet saying everything I needed to say. I'm OK though, just have a lot of shit in my head. Tomorrow is a new day. =]